Friday, February 18, 2011

Potty Training Take 2: Day 3

Disclaimer:  This post talks about poop.  And pee.  And lots of it.

Dear mothers of the world,

     None of you warned me what this potty training business was like.  Day One was awesome!  Smooth sailing.  Lots of attempts with success, which means I'm the awesome, cool Momma who gets to pass Skittles out.  Yay.  But then Day Two came.  And Day Three.  Now I am mean Momma.  I demand every 20 minutes that we sit on the potty.  I am the Momma who says, "No, we cannot go to the park because you will pee everywhere.  We can, however, go in our backyard, because I don't care if you pee there."  We have had 7 failed potty attempts this morning.  All did start with "Potty Momma, Potty!" followed by a brisk sprint to one of the two mini-toilets in the house.  Sadly, she starts peeing shortly after telling me she needs to.  While this does make her brisk sprint morph into a cowgirl waddle by the time she's in front of the potty, it makes for lots [pause for emphasis] lots of wet laundry.

---------------------------------Beginning of Massive Poop Story----------------------------------

     Yesterday may have been the peak.  We had an event which I will forever call by name the "Poo Shoe" incident.  My dear friend was over for lunch, and to remind us humans still wander the earth beyond our walls, when Sesame disappeared.  I lost track of her for half a minute.  Half a minute.  That's thirty seconds.   During which she ran into my closet, shut the door and let a giant turd loose in her powder blue drawers.  Ew.  Gross.  Upon finding her she reminded me that if she pooped, she received a sucker.  "No," I said, "Only if the poopy is in the potty."  "Oh, dear."  she said and hung her sweet braided head.  Up the stairs we went.  Jenn even braved the putrid smell.  I decided laying her down would be best, since we only had a solid turd to work with.  Bad idea.

     As soon as I tugged her training pants down the poo flew out, resting near her tiny toes.  "AHHH!"  I yelled.  Because, really, what does one say when a solid poop turd flies around on a changing table!   Sesame, ever my mimic, began to scream with glee, thinking it a game, and flailing around with joy.  Normally this a non incident.  I like joy in my house.  I like squealing.  I do not, however, like tiny toddler feet that have a large piece of poop molded to them.

     That's right.  Sesame managed to aim her right inner heel to big toe directly into the magnificent poop.  Immediately after which she began to fling her foot about in an attempt to A) do the jitterbug or B) remove the poop.  Fortunately, Jenn was there and able to help me reign in the horror/laughter/baby feet, and remove the excrement.  Sesame just giggled the whole time.  I almost puked.

-------------------- End of Massive Poop Story------------------------------------------

     So.  Aside from that incident, the potty training is draining, but moving along, apparently, like normal.  What did you all do with potty training???  How did it work for you???  And, how in the WORLD did you manage to EVER leave the house?!!?  I feel like that day will never come.  :)


Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Potty Training Take 2: Day 1

Number of panties + pants combination in the wash as I type: 4
Number of times Sesame screamed "POTTY POTTY" and then went running to the bathroom: 4
Number of times Sesame put pee in the potty: 3
Number of Skittles consumed before nap time: 10
Number of times Momma slipped and put her entire arm in the potty: 1

I'd say it's not going too badly.  I'll let you know after nap time.  :)


Tuesday, February 15, 2011


1. There has been a serious lack of photos on this blog lately.  What is that about?!

2. For the past two days I have become increasingly unbalanced.  I went to the doctor today only to find out I have been storing the Nile in my ear canal.  Perhaps that's why Egypt has been in such unrest lately...

3. I have moments like my husband.  Remember the marker incident.  Oh, and the egg incident?  Well, yesterday husband came home from work, to a giddy toddling girl and a wife still in her pj's.  He hugged his ladies and chased his dog.  [sigh] All was right in his world.  Then he went to the bathroom.  "Honey," heard his barefoot, pregnant, pajama-ed wife in the kitchen.  "HON-NEY," he yelled at the top of his lungs do his deaf wife.  "Yes," she said back.  "I think Sesame learned to open the toilet lid."  That's right ladies and gents wife, aka moi, had a catastrophe on her watch.  Apparently while deaf, disoriented Momma made dinner in the kitchen, little Sesame discovered the inner workings of the toilet.  She then pulled almost an entire roll of toilet paper off the roll, placed it in the toilet, re-closed the lid, climbed on top of the toilet to the sink where she then attempted to wash her hands.  How did husband discern all this you ask?  Because there was Twisted Peppermint hand soap all over the vanity, complete with resplendent, sparkling bubbles in the sink.  Who was supposed to be watching this child when all of this happened?!  Me.  Emily.  The Momma.  Parenting FAIL.  At least she was trying to use the potty and at least she knew to wash her hands.  Right???

4.  I fully intend to bribe my child to use the potty with Skittles.  It has been decided and purchased.  I'll keep you posted on the pee and poop in the potty progression.

5.  This is one of my favorite photos of my husband and me.  Not just because he has a crayon up his nose.  Not just because of my expression.  Not just because I'm wearing an IU shirt and he is wearing a Purdue shirt.  But because it completely captures our personalities.  :)  I heart you husband.  :)

6.  Sesame's first Valentine's Day in 2009:

Sesame's second Valentine's Day, 2010:

Sesame's third Valentine's Day, 2011:

Oh, wait...there aren't any photos.  Momma fail, again.  :)  Ya'll just have to settle for some from later today!  :)  It's close enough, right!  :)


Tuesday, February 8, 2011

What I've Heard Lately...

I came down the stairs with Sesame's shoes.  I was gone a total of 45 seconds.  She barreled around the couch, arms spread wide and proclaimed: "Momma, it's so nice to see you.  Give me a hug!"  For real.  Where did this girl come from!?

The other day at dinner:  Husband: "Sesame, do you know who Daddy's favorite is?"  Sesame: "Unc Ryan."  "What?  No, who is Daddy's favorite."  Sesame stopped, actually put her chubby pointer finger to her chin as if to ponder the questions of the universe, and decidedly stated, " Uncle Ry-an" as if Husband didn't hear her the first time!

In the car today:  Sesame: "Momma, wus daaaaaaaat?!"
Me: "Oh, that's a trash incinerator.  The big trucks take our trash there and they burn it so it won't be at our house anymore.  It's stinky huh?"
Sesame: "Yeah.  Shoo-Wee.  Like Daddy."  :)

Me: "Sesame, do you want a brother or a sister?"
Sesame: "bru-der"
Me: "What do you think we should name him?"
Sesame: (without missing a beat) "Jesus." - at least she's paying attention when we read the Bible and go to Bible Study!  :)

And, perhaps my favorite new phrase: "Momma, hold you."  What she actually means is, "Momma, hold me."  I"ll take that grammar debauchle any day - because those cute Sesame phrases won't last forever. : )


Thursday, February 3, 2011

The Last Week.

We have had the flu.
We have had sinus infections.
We have been tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiired.

So tired, we've fallen asleep in random chairs/places.

So sick and so whiny, we've gotten away with most anything.

Except abusing the dog.
Who was cute and lazy all week too.


We have snuggled and watched "My Six Loves" more times than I care to admit.
But only the first half of the movie
because someone doesn't like the second half.

We have been iced in for a day...

or two.

We have tried to distract ourselves with painting on the walls and

adding photos to the paintings.

In the end, we gave in to the PBS morning lineup.  And started last Friday with Between the Lions and watched everything right up to Dinosaur Train (which I agree with Katie about by the way).
And then we did that on Monday.
And Tuesday.
And Wednesday.
And today.

I think Whiny Pants McGee might be getting better.

No, wait.
She just sneezed the Nile of Snot-dom out of her nose.
Excuse me while I go do my job.