Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Okay, We've Made Up.

It's true.  Now that I've played with this beta version of blogger I'm a fan now.  It's safe to say that our love will continue to grow and bloom like the dandelions in my yard.  :)  My swift recovery from hatred might have something to do with the option to use helvetica as the standard font.  maybe.  :)  Moving on...

Life has been C-R-AZY here at the homestead.  VBS is this week at church and husband and I are half of the Emcee team.  The other half is comprised an awesome couple we do the MIddle School Youth Group with.  I'm fairly certain the wife (who has a talent and knack for photos as well!) wouldn't mind her name floating about blogland.  However, I think her husband might assume that a name mentioned in the blogosphere, means crazies will find her and take her.  And, quite frankly, I like them and I want to keep them around.  So no names.

Jesopete, I"m a rambler today.

So we went to the local Freedom Festival this past Saturday (hence previous joy. photo).  I thought I might share with you all the rest of the photos...well most of them...I still have more to sort through.

Daddy and his girl waiting for the parade to reach us! 

Have I mentioned I adore these two!?  I mean, really, they're my favorites.  And Sesame's facial expression in this photo is actually a smile.  She's a looker.  :)

So when I look at this photo I might start to tear up a little bit, because I might start thinking about how my Daddy used to carry me on his shoulders, and, I might also start thinking about how Sesame is big enough to hang out up there and not fall off, and I might then start thinking about how she'll be too old for parades one day and sulk on the sidelines wishing she had cool parents who let her have a cell phone so she could just stay home and text people, and I might I then think how she'll finally have a cell phone when she leaves for college, and then MAYBE, JUST MAYBE I might start sobbing hysterically shed a tear at the thought of her taking her kids to the parade and watching them ride on her husband's shoulders.

I mean, hypothetically of course.
I would NEVER actually think all this.
Or cry.

Homer dog came too!  (Random side note: Sesame says Homer all the time.  It's actually quite cute - it just sounds like "Homo."  We need to work on our "R's")

Yay for Daddy's shoulders!

I lovingly title this photo: Steve Urkel meets My Scrunchie-Nosed Midget.

Yay Parade!

A genetics lesson for you:
Daddy loves sweets.
Momma loves sweets.
Therefore, baby will also love sweets

"Hey Mister!  You dropped this!"

I think she was wondering where their pom-poms were.

Another Daddy-Daughter Moment that might have made me cry.

My daughter is both diva AND and adventuresome boys scout!

Fireworks!  :)  

Nothing better than a fun-filled day of local activities!  Not gonna lie, I think I might have to frame some new Daddy-Sesame photos for the house!  :)

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Garage Cleaning Day

So...I captioned all these photos in Picasa to tell the story I wanted to tell...and then I couldn't figure out how to display them on the blog...and so I'm leaving the story to you...until tomorrow...when I'm ready try this new Blogger in beta thing again.  Sigh...So...until then enjoy my min-Richard Simmons girl.  And leave a comment with a caption for any of the photos!  :)


Thursday, June 24, 2010

Not So Blue...

A) I'm having problems loading photos.

B) I've been at this for 41 minutes now.

C) This post is photo driven.

D) I haven't showered in ___ days (I refuse to write in the actual, on the other hand, are allowed to put whatever number you would like in the blank.) and my baby will be waking up soon.

E) I think I'm having a post-loss-of-baby-nesting period -- does this really happen???  Because I have been little Miss. Nazi-organizing-throw-it-out-give-it-to-goodwill-have-a-garage-sale QUEEN for the past week.

F) Positive note - Our house is becoming de-cluttered.  :)

G) I will be back to finish the original post.  :)


Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Amazing Grace

Most of you are likely aware of recent events. I'm not quite ready to write about it here, in a public forum, but felt you should all know what is happening. Conrad wrote the following and gave me the go ahead to post it here. Thank you for the calls, texts, emails and prayers - they did not go unnoticed. :)

It's an interesting thing to be almost a dad........and then not. I'm definitely in a weird emotional spot, because I feel like my reaction to the miscarriage is right and appropriate, and yet I know it's not what many people would expect.

I'm going to try and explain in a little bit less vague terms.

Emily and I lost a baby a few days ago. She was in Reno visiting my parents for my sister's baby shower, and had our 1.5 y.o. daughter with her. At that point, she was about 10 weeks pregnant with #2.

There had been some odd complications already that we'd gone to see the doc for a few weeks back. It felt kind of like they took a stab at the cause and said, "Here, this could be it, take a pill", without a very convincing explanation of any kind.

At the same time, Em and I had already been feeling like this pregnancy was altogether different than the first. Something was off, and we weren't sure what. No cute baby nicknames sounded right. Em would often forget she was preggo. It didn't really feel real, even though we were taking all the right precautions, etc.

I got a call from her on Saturday that her complications were worsening, and I could tell what she was thinking. It's an odd thing to know a person so completely that you know their feelings, even when they don't. The difficult thing was that she was in Reno and I was in Indy, and she wasn't slated to come home until Tuesday night. For a guy who makes a living figuring out how to fix things, helplessness is like Chinese water torture.

Like I said, these odd complications during the past few weeks had given us both a clue that this wouldn't turn out with tiny footprints and an SSN on New Years Day. In his usual amazing way, God had put us both in a place where we were both left relying on Him, and no amount of effort would save the day. When Em and I spoke on the phone, we both said that we had a surprising peace about how this would turn out, for better or worse.

On Sunday I got a call from Em, and she admitted to me that she didn't want to fly back with our midget alone. This alone is a miracle from the Lord on par with the pillar of fire. Then, as usual, God provided. Randy (Em's dad) said he had a free ticket on US Air, and within a few hours, I was set to fly out Monday and come back with her on Tuesday.

Monday at work was a distracted blur. I got done the things I needed to, but in one of those autopilot/zombie hazes, working hard to try and forget that larger events were afoot. At 12:30 I got the call from Em. We'd lost the baby. I stepped into a dark, unused room to talk. She cried. I said I loved her and I'd be there soon.

And I wasn't surprised. And I wasn't mad. And I wasn't heartbroken. I know, I know. I should have been, right? But what can I say? The Lord had made it clear over the past few weeks that this child was His, and that things might not turn out with puffy cheeks and toothless smiles.

Em and I had decided when we first found out we were pregnant that no matter what, we would respond in faith. Our first child had clued us both into the fact that pregnancy and procreation were miracles, and despite the billion-dollar industry around it, doctors had only very tiny control over this God-given process.

So we (stealing ideas from our pastor), looked at each other and said, "Well, are we going to do this in faith, or not?" The answer was clear then, and the test was now here. Would we be angry with the Lord over our baby being lost? Would we cry out, "It's not fair, we don't understand!"


He's made it abundantly clear that this child had never been ours. Even the one we have already belongs to the Lord. They're both His to take in His time, for His purposes. Does the house sitter complain when we come home and "take" the house back?

And what about fairness? What about us not understanding? Not important. God has never operated by the silly definition of fairness that we hold so dear, like fools clutching to their invaluable pyrite. He's never made it a point to clue us in to his plan before it happens. It would be like trying to explain to a toddler asking "Why" how to calculate the orbit around the Moon. Frankly, I'd be disappointed if God ever acknowledged the arrogance of either of these questions.

So no, I didn't get mad in that little dark room. I didn't cry out at my mistreatment. I did the only thing I'd seen as an example under similar circumstances: I praised the Lord.

While [the messenger] was still speaking, yet another messenger came [to Job] and said, "Your sons and daughters were feasting and drinking wine at the oldest brother's house,when suddenly a mighty wind swept in from the desert and struck the four corners of the house. It collapsed on them and they are dead, and I am the only one who has escaped to tell you!"

At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship and said:
"Naked I came from my mother's womb,
and naked I will depart.
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
may the name of the LORD be praised."

In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing.
Job 1:18-22 NIV

This isn't to say I'm not sad. It's not to say I didn't want this baby to live and grow. But it wasn't the plan, and I'd be a fool to question the Planner in His wisdom.

When I finally got to Reno, Em needed hugs, one of the few things I'm truly talented at. We had a chance to talk it over, and I was grateful to discover that she'd been having the same conversation with the Lord in Reno while I was having it in Indy. We were sad, yes, and we would grieve. But the Lord is God, and He is good. He takes care of us in countless ways, and will do so always.

It's only Wednesday now, so I'm not going to claim that everything is settled and over. One thing I know, though, is that our marriage and our faith will mature and strengthen because of this, and because of our response to God in His will. Heaven knows there will be bouts of idiocy to come, especially from me, but I pray for the wisdom to lead the family I've been given to the best of my ability.

In a perverse way, I almost wish I could act more heartbroken just to avoid the weird stares from people I know I'm going to get. I can hear their thoughts, "You just lost a baby, dude! Why aren't you even upset?!" But I'll react the only way I can - with the peace that's been graciously given to me. And if they do ask why, I hope God gives me the boldness and clarity to explain.

I'm spent now. I'm sure there will be more to write later, but I've said what's on my heart. God is good, and everything else is meaningless.

I have seen the burden God has laid on men. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him.

Ecclesiastes 3:10-14 NIV

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Noah, Noah

Some quick stories to recount:

Little Miss. decided that it would be fun to drag the swimming pool from the back door, across the dining room, into the living room and between the couch and coffee table. As you can see, she was delighted with her accomplishment:

Yesterday I looked down whilst doing my hair to see this:

Adorable, yes. Allowed, no. I promptly grabbed my camera and then chided her with a "no, no." To which she responded, "In?" I think it's time I stop taking photos of events I mean to deter. :)

And THEN this morning she just about broke my heart, in a good kind of way. We were upstairs in her room playing with her Melissa and Doug Noah's Ark and I started singing the Noah's Ark song: "Who built the ark, No-ah, No-ah." Out of nowhere Sesame sings "No-ah, No-ah." Well that about did it for me, we called Daddy and sang the song on his voicemail and then tried to call Yia Yia and sing the song over the phone, but she was distracted by the dog, and we were going to call Grammy, but realized it was 6:30 her time, so we decided to let her sleep. (Sorry for the rin-on...I was swept up in the moment and am now too lazy to edit.) Anyway, I'm really digging this whole toddler thing! :)


Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Splish, Splash, Grammar Nazi

A slightly delayed swimming post...

So today was a bit of a packed day, even though we didn't do much. As can happen. First the trip to the baby doc went well, and we're now a fan of the nickname "Baby Jellybean". It feels like far less of an Orson Scott Card ripoff than "Baby Bean". I'd post ultrasound pics, but A) they're fuzzy and show something that looks like a jellybean/peanut, and 2) you people don't comment enough to have earned it. Muhuahaha!

After the baby doc appointment, we had a rare and magical chance to have lunch alone with each other. While I'm sure that to outsiders we looked like a normal couple conversing, I must admit that it was a bit more schizophrenic than that. Here's a taste:
Husband: "It totally torques me when people claim that mispronunciations are "just accents". Seriously, 'po-tay-tow' is NOT the same as 'po-tah-tow'. Arg, and then on the radio yesterday, some dude they were interviewing mixed up "weary" and "wary"! I mean, he was a WRITER!"

*Wife groove-dances in the booth to the in-house muzak while staring at a salad*

Wife: "You know, I really, really like craisins! They're like awesomeness. There must be fields where they just set out the cranberries to dry.........But what if it rains?"

*"The Ballad of Curtis Loew" by Lynyrd Skynyrd comes on the muzak station*

Husband: "Wow, this is my favorite Skynyrd song! It's so......moving..."

Wife: "...I really just have no idea how people can confuse "there", "their", and "they're"! I mean, of all the easily confusable words, they have SUCH different meanings!

" ...On the day old Curtis died, nobody came to pray.
Old preacher said some words, and they chunked him in the clay..."

Husband: "Man, that's really sad..."

Wife: "I know! They might go their whole lives and not have anyone tell them how to use the words correctly!"

"Hmm...I think I'll just take this green snakey thing and fill the pool myself..."

"I wonder if this is like the inside water...maybe I could drink it..."

"Nope...definitely too cold and uncontrollable..." (Note...we were lauging hysterically at this point. I mean, hello?!)

*shriek*squeal*giggle* Basically, if there's a sound related to joy a toddler makes, it's accompanying this photo.

Thirsty doggie.

"Finally! I can get a drink!"

I'm pretty sure that Conrad perfect this thumb over-the-nozzle move for this moment in life: spraying his children.

It's tough to get this from the pictures, but Midget Lady was a trooper, because the hose water was Lake Tahoe cold! It's a good thing she's been prepping her Thunder Thighs for just such an occasion.
Joy. Exuberance. Zeal.

Um...that's actually a smile...

Is that a gang sign?! Where did my 16 month old learn gang signs!?

Okay, favorite part of the day. Our neighbors just acquired a small yorkie named Sarge. Nellianne walked over, turned around and said "Hi' to Homer and then turned back to Sarge and said "Hi" again. ADORABLE!

I love this kid. : )