Friday, May 29, 2009

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Daddy's Rock.

Some days I think to myself: "Maybe we should have waited longer to have kids. "

Then I look at pictures like this.  :)

So Far Today...

We have changed the sheets on the crib.
We have screeched so loud that Homer joined in.
We have tried to roll off the changing station...again.
We have held our own bottle to eat.

And -

We unbuckled our swing and tried to escape.

Did I mention we've ony been up 2 hours???

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

From Another Mother...

LOVE this post.  I can already see Nellianne's stubborn nature developing - and I anticipate plenty of sassiness resulting.  :)

Sunday, May 17, 2009

On the Road Again...

We just returned from a road trip out to Kansas for my sister's (actually sister-in-law, but call her sister!  (: ) graduation.  Yay for Navy Nurse Julie!  :)  It was truly a whirlwind trip involving 16 hours on the road and 26 hours of visiting time.  But oh-so worth it.  :)  

A few highlights for you all, because if I recounted the trip in hilarious details you would undoubtedly fall asleep, and never read this blog again.

Highlight Number One:

Driving with husband.  It is a well known fact that time in a car with one's beloved ROCKS!  :)  One of our first dates was actually a road trip from Indy to Muncie.  God love him, he helped me move into my college house.  He even put my desk together.  That's how I knew it was love.

Needless to say the evening trip out to Kansas was good quality time that filled my love tank.  I heart you husband.

Highlight Number Two:

Tornadoes.  That's right.  We drove through a stream of wicked, crazy storms that just happened to include several TORNADOES.  Oh, did I mention we also had a 4-month old baby girl in the car with us.  Oh, and we were in the middle of nowhere.  Seriously.  Did you ever see the movie Twister?  Conrad was driving along in the storm and it suddenly occurred to me: ' He's from Nevada, he has no idea this is tornado weather.'  Which then led to my thinking: 'OH MY GOSH WE HAVE BABY - AND IS THAT A FUNNEL DROPPING DOWN, I THINK IT'S A FUNNEL - IT SOUNDS LIKE A FREIGHT TRAIN - HOLY COW I THINK THAT'S A FLYING COW IN THAT FIELD - IS THE SKY NORMALLY BABY POOP GREEN IN A STORM?  IS TORNADO SKY GREEN OR ORANGE OR BOTH!?!  DOES IT STILL LOOK LIKE AN ALIEN COLOR WHEN IT'S DARK?!?'  Which of course came out of my mouth as:
 'Um, honey, maybe we should pull off here...those clouds don't look so hot.' 

Highlight Number Three:

Jon Hodgman's The Areas of My Expertise.  Hi-lar-i-ous.  It's the most sarcastic book on tape of fictitious facts that I've ever heard.  Conrad and I listened to the section on hobos three times.  I kid you not.  A few random quotes from our favorite section for you:

"In Kansas City, a hobo declared himself Duke of all the West and started demanding tithes. They wanted cheap beer and hats.  The wanted bent nails and pieces of string.  They wanted half barrels of swallow-feather sauce, and no one knew what they were talking about."

"The Works Progress Administration was created largely as a cover for Walker Evans: photographer by day, hobo hunter by night.  He had only one target.  Joey Stinkeye Smiles.  But Smiles was slippery.." after having read over those two quotes I realize that one might have to listen to the audio book or read the real live version in order to gather the full affect.  Moving on...

Highlight Number Four:

JULIE!!!  :)  The whole point and purpose was to see Julie graduate.  Yay.  Congrats to my sister who is now a real live Navy Nurse.  :)

Highlight Number Five:

Until a brief car ride from Matt & Julie's apartment I didn't know the awkwardness experienced in The Office was something attainable to a stay at home mother.  But it's true.  Oh how it's true.  Husband, Matt & another a party - we shall name him Joey Stinkeye Smiles and refer to him as Smiles - piled into Ruby for a 10 min. drive to a dinner celebrating Julie's graduation.  Simple you might think.  But no.  Not so.  Smiles, a 15 year old boy, sat in the back with myself, Nellianne & a car seat.  I mention the car seat because it is the size of a young chimpanzee itself and takes up a fair deal of room.  I started to talk to smiles and the conversation went something like this:

Me:   Oh so you're 15, are you driving yet?
Smiles: No.  I have to take the test.  But the ladies like driving.
awkward pause as I process this.
Me: Oh.  Cool.  So you'll have your permit?
Smiles: Yeah.  And my friend steals his Dad's hummer so we drive around and pick up hot babes.
I glance around looking for the hidden cameras.  Even Nellianne is slightly confused and lets a small giggle escape. 
Me: Will your friend have the Hummer when he gets his license?  (yes I ignored the fact that he is STEALING and he isn't LICENSED)
Smiles: Looks at me like I'm an alien with 5 heads.  No it's his Dad's.  We take it to pick up chicks.
Me: I hear the gas mileage on Hummers is awful.
Smiles: Whatever.  I'm a ladies man and chicks dig it.
!?!?!  WHAT IS THIS  ?!?!

After the same response to questions about books and what grade in school he was, I began to unapologetically laugh.  I COULD NOT contain myself.  Conrad glanced in the review mirror when he heard Nellianne join in the laughter.  Smiles, it would seem, was dead serious.  He delivered this line, and I quote exactly because you can't forget lines this good nor make them up: "Sense I like the ladies I don't read no books.  Then they wouldn't dig me no more."  My response was to ever so politely say, through gales of laughter, "That's too bad."  Because really, what do you say to a 15-year-old who is incapable of social conversation.  Honestly.

Highlight Number Six:

Nellianne's Elton John look:

Highlight Number Seven:

Julie is the QUEEN of infomercials.  I, personally, heart this idiosyncrasy of hers.  This small obsession has resulted in an apartment full of gadgets and gizmos claiming to solve varieties of problems.  On Saturday night we, our family, experienced the sit-up ball, the foam tube and the leg master.  (I apologize for not recalling the real names of the gadgets.  I was sleep deprived, so I"m shocked I remember the event at all!)  Long story short - we now have the leg master sitting in our garage.   

Highlight Number Eight:

Taking photos of Julie for graduation!  YAY!

Oh wait...That's not Julie...

There she is!

Highlight Number Nine:

Surviving.  :)  We have now mastered a fairly long road trip with a fairly young baby.  I think it's fair to say that we are travelers.  :)  Now to master camping.  

Call me crazy but I think this picture looks like one of those 'celebrity-gets-caught-unawares-out-in-public-with-their-child' photos.  Anyone else see it??  Bueller?  Bueller?

The fam.  :)  

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

The Highlights of Motherhood

Today was a unique and exciting day.  :)  Let me also say that this post is not for the faint of heart.  Various bodily fluids and excrements will be mentioned.  You are forewarned.  :)

As I was nursing Nellianne she began to expel toxic toots (more lovingly called stinkers in our home).  The stinkers rapidly developed into something a little more intense and, shall we say, urgent.  I quickly sat her up and intentionally held the back of her diaper close to her back.  We've experienced several up the bcak poops here in the Golbov household and I did not desire yet another.  When little Miss appeared to have completed her business, I glid up the stairs to her room ready to change her.  I even double check before laying her down on her back to see if any excrement snuck out of her diaper and up her backbone.  I didn't see any.  I didn't smell any.  I didn't even FEEL any poo.  Oh.  But I was wrong.
I opened the diaper* ever so slowly and inveiled a stinky one.  This is where I wish I had smell-o-vision so I could knock you all out with the scent.  Anywho, I forged on, carefully wiping...and wiping...and wiping until I realized I was wiping UP TO THE MIDDLE OF HER BACK!  That's right kids.  She had a sneak-attack-up-the-back-poop.    I can't even begin to describe to you the event that was my attempt to remove said clothes without increasing the amount of smeared baby poop on my daughter's back.  Suffice it to say that by the time I managed to remove her overalls and onesie she DESPARATELY needed a bathe.  

OH and we had company on the way.  

That's right.  No time for a bathe.  As she balanced on her wobbly legs, naked and talking to  the baby in the mirror at our changing station, I tried to wipe her down enought to put her on the floor to properly clean her.  As I explained this to the happy, poopy Nellianne she thought it was time to increase the days calamity and promptly projectile vomited onto the mirror.  yay.  Good thing it wasn't really another baby she spewed one.  That would be one more person to clean.

I grabbed naked Nellie, moving her to the floor.  She rolled over on her belly and I turned around to grab the baby wipes (PS BLESS the person who invented those!).  In the 2.8 seconds that I turned around - TO GET THE WIPES - she managed to pee AGAIN!  ON THE BLANKET.  THAT WAS ON THE CARPETED FLOOR.  I looked at my naked, poopy, now pee soaked child and said "You have got to be kidding me!"  She looked at me, grinned wildly, squealed, and rolled off the blanket DIRECTLY ONTO THE CARPET.  

Score Nellianne: 2 Mommy: 0

After setting up another area to change her, wiping her down, clothing her and then changing her again (Yes, that's right pee #3...) we ventured downstairs.  Poor Homer dog wanted back inside.  I flipped her to face outward as I let him in.  And them it came.  She leaned forward, as if to inspect my cute socks, and puked.  Again.  ON MY SOCK.  Homer found the game amusing as he wandered in and stopped to LICK OFF MY SOCK.  I then found myself dancing one leg, holding a baby, trying to keep the dog away and remove my sock at the same time.  This resulted in my sock flipping off and landing on the wall.  That's right. Pukey wall.  Who has pukey walls to clean!?  Honestly.  

Then the doorbell rang.  

So - Nellianne's 4 month birthday was one celebrated in glorious splendor.  :)  On a happier note, here are some AWESOME photos of my ever developing girl.  I must say, she is getting quite the personality on her!  :)

Nellianne's thought: "Mom what is Daddy doing NOW?!"

Naked baby likes her toes!  :)

Working with Momma in the office!  I LOVE this whole picking things up stage!

And finally, my favorite.  A surprised face!  :)  

*rabbit trail: Why do they have the cute little muppets on them?!  I mean the babies can't see them - Are they trying trick parents into thinking this diaper changing business is fun?!  If that's there goal they're going to need something MUCH MORE enticing than Sesame Street characters.  We're talking a Wonka golden ticket or, better yet, a pouch with $50 inside.  Then I'd be properly motivated!

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Little Sesame, Big Personality!

Fact:  Sesame has been drooling like Hooch.  All.  Over.  Everything.
Fact:  Sesame has been spitting up like it's her job.  And she never has before.
Fact:  Sesame is putting EVERYTHING in her mouth.  Fingers.  Toes.  Lint between her toes.  You name it - it has been chewed on.
Fact:  Sesame has been running a low grade fever.  
Fact:  Sesame has been clutching her ear and holding on for dear life.  Not in a menacing manner just with a look as if to say: "Oh, this makes me feel better."
Fact:  Sesame has been drooling.  Oh.  Wait.  I may have said that already...

You tell me - Is she teething???

And for some more photos...because, let's face it, all ten of you really check the blog for those! :)

"What?  Are you photographing me??  Oh, I had no idea."

This is her 'I'm really excited but I can't say it just yet so I'll just open my mouth as wide as I can and squeal at the top of my lungs face.'  We hear it a lot in our home!  :)

"Oh, I'm sorry, you're taking my photo again?  Should I pose?  Maybe tilt my head a little to the right?"

She's just so dag-gone cute.  :)
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Monday, May 4, 2009

Easter Photos Round 2

Cousin Gabriel!

After waking Sesame from her beauty sleep to get Easter photos.

Family pic.  Wow we have baby weight to lose!

She fell asleep on the way to church like this.  How cute!!!

That's her Mommy smile - I always get that smile in the morning when she wakes up.

We now have a side sleeper!  :)

More to come!