Sunday, May 17, 2009

On the Road Again...


We just returned from a road trip out to Kansas for my sister's (actually sister-in-law, but call her sister!  (: ) graduation.  Yay for Navy Nurse Julie!  :)  It was truly a whirlwind trip involving 16 hours on the road and 26 hours of visiting time.  But oh-so worth it.  :)  

A few highlights for you all, because if I recounted the trip in hilarious details you would undoubtedly fall asleep, and never read this blog again.

Highlight Number One:

Driving with husband.  It is a well known fact that time in a car with one's beloved ROCKS!  :)  One of our first dates was actually a road trip from Indy to Muncie.  God love him, he helped me move into my college house.  He even put my desk together.  That's how I knew it was love.

Needless to say the evening trip out to Kansas was good quality time that filled my love tank.  I heart you husband.

Highlight Number Two:

Tornadoes.  That's right.  We drove through a stream of wicked, crazy storms that just happened to include several TORNADOES.  Oh, did I mention we also had a 4-month old baby girl in the car with us.  Oh, and we were in the middle of nowhere.  Seriously.  Did you ever see the movie Twister?  Conrad was driving along in the storm and it suddenly occurred to me: ' He's from Nevada, he has no idea this is tornado weather.'  Which then led to my thinking: 'OH MY GOSH WE HAVE BABY - AND IS THAT A FUNNEL DROPPING DOWN, I THINK IT'S A FUNNEL - IT SOUNDS LIKE A FREIGHT TRAIN - HOLY COW I THINK THAT'S A FLYING COW IN THAT FIELD - IS THE SKY NORMALLY BABY POOP GREEN IN A STORM?  IS TORNADO SKY GREEN OR ORANGE OR BOTH!?!  DOES IT STILL LOOK LIKE AN ALIEN COLOR WHEN IT'S DARK?!?'  Which of course came out of my mouth as:
 'Um, honey, maybe we should pull off here...those clouds don't look so hot.' 

Highlight Number Three:

Jon Hodgman's The Areas of My Expertise.  Hi-lar-i-ous.  It's the most sarcastic book on tape of fictitious facts that I've ever heard.  Conrad and I listened to the section on hobos three times.  I kid you not.  A few random quotes from our favorite section for you:

"In Kansas City, a hobo declared himself Duke of all the West and started demanding tithes. They wanted cheap beer and hats.  The wanted bent nails and pieces of string.  They wanted half barrels of swallow-feather sauce, and no one knew what they were talking about."

"The Works Progress Administration was created largely as a cover for Walker Evans: photographer by day, hobo hunter by night.  He had only one target.  Joey Stinkeye Smiles.  But Smiles was slippery.."

Okay...so after having read over those two quotes I realize that one might have to listen to the audio book or read the real live version in order to gather the full affect.  Moving on...

Highlight Number Four:

JULIE!!!  :)  The whole point and purpose was to see Julie graduate.  Yay.  Congrats to my sister who is now a real live Navy Nurse.  :)

Highlight Number Five:

Until a brief car ride from Matt & Julie's apartment I didn't know the awkwardness experienced in The Office was something attainable to a stay at home mother.  But it's true.  Oh how it's true.  Husband, Matt & another a party - we shall name him Joey Stinkeye Smiles and refer to him as Smiles - piled into Ruby for a 10 min. drive to a dinner celebrating Julie's graduation.  Simple you might think.  But no.  Not so.  Smiles, a 15 year old boy, sat in the back with myself, Nellianne & a car seat.  I mention the car seat because it is the size of a young chimpanzee itself and takes up a fair deal of room.  I started to talk to smiles and the conversation went something like this:

Me:   Oh so you're 15, are you driving yet?
Smiles: No.  I have to take the test.  But the ladies like driving.
awkward pause as I process this.
Me: Oh.  Cool.  So you'll have your permit?
Smiles: Yeah.  And my friend steals his Dad's hummer so we drive around and pick up hot babes.
I glance around looking for the hidden cameras.  Even Nellianne is slightly confused and lets a small giggle escape. 
Me: Will your friend have the Hummer when he gets his license?  (yes I ignored the fact that he is STEALING and he isn't LICENSED)
Smiles: Looks at me like I'm an alien with 5 heads.  No it's his Dad's.  We take it to pick up chicks.
Me: I hear the gas mileage on Hummers is awful.
Smiles: Whatever.  I'm a ladies man and chicks dig it.
!?!?!  WHAT IS THIS  ?!?!

After the same response to questions about books and what grade in school he was, I began to unapologetically laugh.  I COULD NOT contain myself.  Conrad glanced in the review mirror when he heard Nellianne join in the laughter.  Smiles, it would seem, was dead serious.  He delivered this line, and I quote exactly because you can't forget lines this good nor make them up: "Sense I like the ladies I don't read no books.  Then they wouldn't dig me no more."  My response was to ever so politely say, through gales of laughter, "That's too bad."  Because really, what do you say to a 15-year-old who is incapable of social conversation.  Honestly.

Highlight Number Six:

Nellianne's Elton John look:


Highlight Number Seven:

Julie is the QUEEN of infomercials.  I, personally, heart this idiosyncrasy of hers.  This small obsession has resulted in an apartment full of gadgets and gizmos claiming to solve varieties of problems.  On Saturday night we, our family, experienced the sit-up ball, the foam tube and the leg master.  (I apologize for not recalling the real names of the gadgets.  I was sleep deprived, so I"m shocked I remember the event at all!)  Long story short - we now have the leg master sitting in our garage.   

Highlight Number Eight:

Taking photos of Julie for graduation!  YAY!

Oh wait...That's not Julie...

There she is!


Highlight Number Nine:

Surviving.  :)  We have now mastered a fairly long road trip with a fairly young baby.  I think it's fair to say that we are travelers.  :)  Now to master camping.  


Call me crazy but I think this picture looks like one of those 'celebrity-gets-caught-unawares-out-in-public-with-their-child' photos.  Anyone else see it??  Bueller?  Bueller?


The fam.  :)  

1 comment:

emily ann. said...

Guest comment from husband:

ALERT!! ALERT!!

My wife does not know the difference between effect (noun) and affect (verb).

ALERT!! ALERT!!

Normal activities resuming in 3....2....1....


P.S. Her punctuation is also terrible.

Love Always,
-Your Adoring Husband-