1.) Be terrified while washing your face in the morning by a teeny, tiny, little midget girl.
- For real. I jumped, screamed "Ah!," as if I were in some antiquated 1940s horror film and got soap in my eye all while be laughed at by my sweet daughter.
2.) Fill your first cup of coffee. Add the last of your fantabulous, Sugar-Free Torani Hazelnut syrup. Drop the cup. Awesome.
3.) Sit down-wind of your Sweet Cherbic son to try and drink your second cup of coffee. Be interrupted by a large "grunt" followed by a fragrant gust of poo. Turn to look at Little Dude. See
4.) Pick up Poo-Master. Carry him at arms length up the stairs, whilst gagging.
5) Realize this is thee worst poop you have ever faced. Call in reinforcements (aka Husband).
6) Strategically lean Little Dude against mirror. Watch him grin emphatically as you gingerly remove his pants. Listen to him LAUGH when you start gagging. Have husband hold little Ninja-poo-man so you can breathe fresh air from the window.
7) Attempt to remove onesie from little, squirmy body without dragging poop through Midget-Man's freshly washed hair.
8) Fail at said attempt.
9) Ask husband to prepare warm bath while balancing Little Dude with left hand and wiping with right.
10) Carry Little, giggling, kicking, naked Dude at arms length through upstairs loft to Batcave Bath.
11) Find Sesame in the tub, with her clothes on.
12) Wring out clothes. Bathe both children.
13) Realize it is only 8:00.