A Saturday Morning.

So.

This morning I woke up intending to make coffee, shower, dress Sesame and leave for a city 2 hours north of here.

What did  I end up doing???

Cleaning my entire kitchen counter off.

That's right.

The whole kitchen is evacuated.

Why???

I went to make coffee and found ants.

Not just a tiny trail as the song states.

It was more like, "the ants go marching 50 by 50, 

ew get them out of my kitchen hurrah, hurrah

the ants go marching 50 by 50 

Ah! they're crawling all over me I'm moving out of the house! hurrah hurrah!"

Seriously.

My kitchen was clean too.

I cleaned it yesterday.

With bleach.

So

I moved everything to my kitchen table

Sprayed the backsplash/wall area with raid

blocked the area off for all furry creatures and 

fuzzy headed little girls

Went to McDonald's drive thru for breakfast

carried the coffee pot upstairs

(because, let's face it, who can handle an ant invasion on a husbandless Saturday morning without coffee!)

turned on Elmo,

and let Sesame zone out.

I let her zone out so I could itch my entire body.

Ants, especially in droves, make me itchy.

Almost as much as the word lice.

Ew.

Ten bucks says your itching now too.

You're welcome.

My plan is to attack the area with bleach, and vinegar, and Jack Daniels alcohol, and any other kind of product that could possibly kill, destroy or annihilate the ants.

All during nap time of course.

The last thing I need is Sesame helping clean with Raid.

Disaster much?

When husband arrives home, we're calling the Terminex man,

or, whomever you call these days.

Because,
again,

ew.