Wednesday, July 1, 2009

My Phone.

Let me start this off by saying I am not, repeat not, a cell phone person. If it were up to me mine would have been run over "accidently" by a large Cadillac Escalade, trampled on by a dancing doldrum of hobbit feet and then promptly tossed into the Hudson River, never to be heard from again. However, I understand the times. I understand that I would shunned by the Middle School kids at church if I were cell phone-less. I even "get" that it would be good to have one if I were stranded on the side of the road with car trouble and a baby...since we leave Greenwood so very often. [note the sarcasm.] So. I carry one, when it's not lost. And have done my very best to keep mine safe, clean and in good condition. Then today happened.

It was as normal as any Wednesday could be. I was cooking dinner with little Sesame hugging my right hip, shrieking away like a joyful little banshee. The zucchini and squash sizzled away in the cast iron skillet. Homer was even lounging about on the kitchen floor. Life was good. Then I remembered my cell phone was still on the coffee table in Sesame's obscenely large sun hat. (I left both the phone and hat at Krista's yesterday.) "Oh," I thought," I should keep that near me." I snatched up the cell phone and placed it on a small pile of paper towel.

I don't know if I can properly re-tell the events that unfolded. All I know is Mary Poppins' 'Supercalifragilistic' started blaring from my phone speaker. I was so shocked I turned around, much too fast. Just as I went for the phone, a fountain of white, chunky froth emitted from Sesame's mouth. Instinctually, I jerked my arm out of the line of fire, thus covering the rug with spew and sending the phone spiraling toward the kitchen sink.

I don't normally have good aim. But today, of all days, I was a sharp shooter. That's right, just call me sharp shooter Em, because; my phone managed to dodge the largely dry sink and plunk into the small cereal bowl - FULL OF SOAPY WATER.

Oh and then the house phone rang. And then the baby started crying. And THEN that zucchini and squash on the stove, yeah, it started burning. AND MY FLOOR WAS COVERED IN PUKE!!! At least Homer managed to stay dry.

Needless to say my phone is now drying out. But...I might not be so sad if it never turns on again. :)

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