It was as normal as any Wednesday could be. I was cooking dinner with little Sesame hugging my right hip, shrieking away like a joyful little banshee. The zucchini and squash sizzled away in the cast iron skillet. Homer was even lounging about on the kitchen floor. Life was good. Then I remembered my cell phone was still on the coffee table in Sesame's obscenely large sun hat. (I left both the phone and hat at Krista's yesterday.) "Oh," I thought," I should keep that near me." I snatched up the cell phone and placed it on a small pile of paper towel.
I don't know if I can properly re-tell the events that unfolded. All I know is Mary Poppins' 'Supercalifragilistic' started blaring from my phone speaker. I was so shocked I turned around, much too fast. Just as I went for the phone, a fountain of white, chunky froth emitted from Sesame's mouth. Instinctually, I jerked my arm out of the line of fire, thus covering the rug with spew and sending the phone spiraling toward the kitchen sink.
I don't normally have good aim. But today, of all days, I was a sharp shooter. That's right, just call me sharp shooter Em, because; my phone managed to dodge the largely dry sink and plunk into the small cereal bowl - FULL OF SOAPY WATER.
Oh and then the house phone rang. And then the baby started crying. And THEN that zucchini and squash on the stove, yeah, it started burning. AND MY FLOOR WAS COVERED IN PUKE!!! At least Homer managed to stay dry.