Monday, June 18, 2012

Fish Day.

It all started with an innocent idea.
Husband: "She's been good today.  We should get her a fish."
If I hadn't been a walking zombie that day I might have had the where-with-all to say "NO!"
But I was sleepy.
And thusly responded with:
"Whatever, it's up to you."

Hence Nemo Gus Gus Higgins Golbov was born:

At least I was sound enough of mind to deter husband from purchasing the large 10 gallon tank.
They didn't have any globe-like bowls, so we opted for a beta vase.
Nemo was a bit large for said vase

Sesame stared at him before bed, elated.
She talked to him and told him not be scared.
She told him they were going to have "many adventures."
Girl has an imagination.
Don't know where she gets it from!  :)

She said good night and went to bed.

Morning comes.
Nemo doesn't look to hot.
Afternoon comes.
Nemo is dead

D.E.D dead. (name that movie!)

We decide it's best to break the news to her - but at the last minute Daddy changes his mind.
Upside-down, sunk like the Titanic Nemo is dead, in his vase, in my bathroom.
To Sesame, he "needed to sleep someplace quiet."

Poor Nemo.

Daddy runs to Wal-mart to buy one replacement Nemo.

He returns with this bad boy:

Which now houses: 

as well as SIX plastic plants, ONE pirate ship and TWO live, self-planting bulbs.

And all she wanted was ooooooooone gold fish.

We now have an aquatic zoo on top of her dresser.
With glow-in the dark plastic plants.

HOWEVER, when I saw Sesame's face:

I quickly decided the aquatic zoo was perfectly fine.  :)  I mean, hello, look at that JOY!  :)


The next morning, Jacque was suctioned to the Aquarium filter and Gus Gus was bobbing, head first, in the glow-in-dark plastic plant.  There may have been a glaze over their eyes as well.

I froke out and told husband we had another "fish situation." and we should "prepare for a Cosby episode."

Sesame told me not to worry, they were just "playing hide and seek."

In the end, we broke the news to Sesame that Jacque and Gus Gus kicked the can.
Her response: " That's sad, but Nemo has more room to swim now!"

I still feel like Darla in Finding Nemo.


Thursday, June 7, 2012

A Morning at the Batcave

A normal "to-do" list at the Batcave:

1.) Be terrified while washing your face in the morning by a teeny, tiny, little midget girl.

  • For real.  I jumped, screamed "Ah!," as if I were in some antiquated 1940s horror film and got soap in my eye all while be laughed at by my sweet daughter. 

2.) Fill your first cup of coffee.  Add the last of your fantabulous, Sugar-Free Torani Hazelnut syrup.  Drop the cup.  Awesome.

3.) Sit down-wind of your Sweet Cherbic son to try and drink your second cup of coffee.  Be interrupted by a large "grunt" followed by a fragrant gust of poo.  Turn to look at Little Dude. See Poo squishing up his back, out of his diaper, through his onesie and onto the carpet sunshine, daisies and unicorns leaping over rainbows.

4.) Pick up Poo-Master.  Carry him at arms length up the stairs, whilst gagging.

5) Realize this is thee worst poop you have ever faced.  Call in reinforcements (aka Husband).

6)  Strategically lean Little Dude against mirror.  Watch him grin emphatically as you gingerly remove his pants.  Listen to him LAUGH when you start gagging.  Have husband hold little Ninja-poo-man so you can breathe fresh air from the window.

7)  Attempt to remove onesie from little, squirmy body without dragging poop through Midget-Man's freshly washed hair.

8)  Fail at said attempt.

9)  Ask husband to prepare warm bath while balancing Little Dude with left hand and wiping with right.

10)  Carry Little, giggling, kicking, naked Dude at arms length through upstairs loft to Batcave Bath.

11)  Find Sesame in the tub, with her clothes on.

12)  Wring out clothes.  Bathe both children.

13)  Realize it is only 8:00.