cold coffee.

yes. i know. months since a new post. hopefully this go around will be better. but then again, i always say that. :)

excitement: i am settling into a routine. i never, in the time that it takes a black hole to suck you in from beginning to end, thought that i would rejoice over establishing a routine. momma can expound for pages on that - as can husband. and they will.

for example:

Saturday morning. Conrad says: want do you want to do today?
Emily says: i don't know.
Conrad says: we should plan out the day so we have an idea.
Emily says: no, i don't want to plan anything. at all. let's just do whatever, whenever.
Conrad looks at Emily: oh it's one of those days.

7.5 months of marriage and he already knows. he's a fast learner. :)

point 1: my mismatched spirit of freedom and routine desires - needs - days without schedules. most importantly days of running random errands, actually creating something with my hands and moments of discovery.

point 2: my mismatched spirit of freedom and routine desires - needs - days with schedules. coffee, bible, write, remember i poured coffee, internet, drink the coffee which is now cold, errands, laundry, cook and make coffee again. i like this schedule. i like this routine. it establishes some sort of consistency in my life. moments of joy and randomness occur even in routine. and this makes me smile.

point 3: the Lord knows this of my spirit. i suppose my word choice is off - he doesn't mismatch spirits. he matches them perfectly.

i think it was the first Sunday in August Rabbi Adler, a Messianic Jewish Rabbi, preached a sermon at our church. the scripture - Psalm 8. i scribbled a note in the margin of my bible that reads: "God could have formed the world in an instant, but he took six days because he loved us so. God is intimately seeking you."

my "mismatched spirit," my yearning for both routine and random, have been intentionally instilled in my heart; written there by the hand of God. who am i to then question this part of my personality?

so.

as i begin to find joy in routine, i will remember the joy in the random.

"When I look at the night sky and see the work of your fingers--the moon and the starts you set in place--what are people that you should think about them, more mortals that you should care for them? Yet you made them only a little lower that God and crowned them with glory and honor..." Psalm 8:3-5 NLT